#Fail

Today I gave my daughter a dirty sock to wipe her nose with... I resign.  Somewhere amongst the mountains of laundry my dignity has been misplaced.  I am no longer fit for childrearing, I need an intervention.  The sock (which was a baby sock, don't call the authorities on me yet! ) was on it's way to the machine-o-washing, so i figured, "Eh, what's the harm?  Sop that snot up missy!".  Then I was a little embarrassed with myself.

I have also eaten an entire plastic container of baby puffs... by.my.self.  I was kinda embarrassed with myself on this account as well.  I don't even remember the context of the story, I only recall looking down into an empty container of puffs and realizing I was the only one left at the table...with an empty container of B.A.B.Y. P.U.F.F.S.!  (sigh)

So.  In order to lift your spirits I will share with you some of my recent #fail moments...

• I once had a green thumb, but I don't think I have watered this poor plant since the birth of my 3rd baby... let's just be honest.  Yes.  Thats a self watering bulb... it's bone dry.  Yes... that little plastic blue-jay is supposed to sing when my plant is "thirsty"... he stopped chirping a long time ago.  #fail

• Please don't call animal control on the condition of my fish's living conditions.  Seriously sad about this.  The fish just keeps on swimming, I keep on feeding him... we breed a tough brood in our home.   I am afraid if I try to clean his tank now, he might go into shock.  #fail

• Midnight... my baby wants a bottle so he can take 5 drinks and go back to sleep.  Little does he know there is gold dust in the formula and it will cost me $2.00 for his 5 little gulps... I think, "let him cry, he will go back to sleep..." but his screaming was so ear piercing that I gave in.   Until tonight I guess... maybe I will try to be strong yet again.  #fail

• Dutch...my adventure seeker, my curios one, my fearless tiger... was digging around in some cabinets Friday and dropped a leaded glass turkey on his toe.... I don't think it broke, but it was traumatic.  #toedrama #fail (don't mind his raggedy toe nail... another #fail)

• The couple is coming over at 4:30 to sign a CONTRACT on our home... I try to print the contract at 4:00.... NO INK!!!  I SPEED to Office Depot and thankyouJesus they had my ancient ink... #almostfail  And the buyers never knew...

• A while ago, Zadie was gifted a babydoll that magically pees on it's own. You feed her water in a bottle, then she pees it out.  Not in a "fancy Baby Alive" sorta way, more like "this baby was bought at Family Dollar" sort of way.  So I designated her as a bath toy.  Daxx decapitated her.  Now her head is used for a cup to drink (only water from the faucet!! I have not gone rouge yet) My kids refer to this tasty beverage as "Baby Milk"... This is a #fail on so many levels.  I don't think I will be moving the baby head to our next house.  (Please don't judge me for this) 

• On a not-so-fail-note.... we joined a co-op.  We have been getting our veggies from Urban Organics for a few months now and we love it!!  Today is pick up day and I am so excited to see the yumminess we get to enjoy.  One week we had a stow-away... a VERY GREEN grasshopper.  We captured him and let him go outside... I guess the produce was indeed pesticide free.  (smiles)  #win

Okay, so hopefully on this windy monday you can feel a little better about the things you look at in your life and shake your head at... Life is messy and unpredictable... that's okay!  

Also.  We sold our house. I will update you more on that story in due time.  I don't want to be premature in telling you how incredible of a story it is.  Waiting for inspections and appraisals before I dance any jigs!!  But, woooohooo!!!