I'VE MOVED!!!!

Hi friends!!!

I have changed my blog address to

www.heatherduncanwrites.com 

PLEASE come and see what's happening!

I will leave this blog active for a few more months to redirect traffic, and then it will be deleted!


Thank you for reading, friends!

Five Minute Friday: "Visits"

Visits.

My childhood is a mosaic of memories.  I look back to my years growing up and I see many different people, places and events squished together to form one solid masterpiece.  Some of the panes of glass shimmer  and others are a foggy gray, but when displayed as a whole, the picture is breathtaking.

Since my family moved around as I grew up, from city to city, and at times, state to state... visits were a highlight of my life, glitzy pieces to my mosaic.  Visits to see my grandparents, visits from old friends and visits to new friends... The rise of anticipation as we awaited to see the one we loved, it never grew  dull.  I loved it then.  I love it more today.

This summer one of my dearest friends came for a quick visit.  An evening together, children, husbands, chaos... all of it!

We arranged for her family to meet at our home and then we would go eat a kid friendly dinner at a loud mexican food restaurant down the street.  Perfecto!  With enough tortillas and cheese sauce and mexican Cokes, we could easily distract 6 kids for 1 good conversation?! Right?!

Of course, after our husbands chatted upon arriving at our home, they changed our well-thought-through plans and decided to adventure eat... with 6 children (under five).

Being the darling submitting wives that we are, we responded with "Whatever pleases you husband, dearest...".  In actuality we did put up a fight, but were quickly out ruled.

So, we packed our children into our people movers and headed to the south side of OKC to "adventure" eat...eventually ending up at Taco San Pedro (the very best Mexican food in Oklahoma City) along with the rest of the gun toting, drug selling, gang banging population of the "souuuth siiide".  We like to keep it real, people.


Not only did the kids spill drinks, throw chips and take 8 trips to the restroom, the air conditioner was broken on the 100 degree July afternoon we ventured south for a street taco.  Much more memorable than our quiet evening planned at our previously picked establishment, let me tell you.

But, all of those small details are eclipsed by this picture that we were able to snap...

First of all do you see all 6 children are sitting in a row, looking straight (kinda)!!  What an accomplishment!

But, the funniest detail of this photo is that while we were sitting on this table and our husbands were digging around in our souped up minivan and SUV for their ipads and digital cameras... Chandra and I were having to wrangle the kids from interfering with a drug deal on the side of the building and turning away homeless people because all I had in my wallet was "chuckee cheese tokens"!!!!!

"I am sorry sir, all I seem to have is 4 chuckee cheese tokens.  You can have them if you want?"

I just love this picture though, simply because when my friendship with Chandra started, we each had one child... and now between the two of us, we have 6!!  We have walked with each other through deeper waters than a roughed up homeless man and a little "dive" eating is nothing for this pair of women!!


This was one of my very favorite visits this summer.  So many laughs and though our time together is short and rare, it is sweet as honey for this dry thirsty soul.  


You can see my post linked up to Lisa-Jo Baker's Five Minute Friday post today!

Every Friday Lisa posts a word to be used as a subject that we can then take five minutes to write about, unedited, without thinking, stopping when the five minutes is up.

This was my "Five Minutes" today.

No Malicious Content Here!!!

So... my blogger site has been deemed "malicious" on Facebook, but I can assure you it does not contain any data-sucking, bank account draining, nude-y picture surprises!!! 

I am asking for your patience as I try to figure out the problem... it looks as if my solution will be to change web hosts from Blogger, to a host that can provide a bit more security and support.  That being said, if you have any suggestions, please pass them on... please and thank you! 

 

Craigslist, Cops and Moms...

Let me start this post off by saying I don't have much experience with the police.  I have been pulled over, different times, but never receive any tickets.  Well, actually I have... on 23rd in front of OCU... a public warning to all OKCers, never go 2 miles of the limit on 23rd between Penn and Classen, they are vicious. You're welcome.

Back to my story.  Okay.

It's not every day that I get a call from my friend Jenn... wait... yes, she does in fact call me most days... BUT this day hot summery day was different.

"Yeessss..." I said, as I answered my cell.


"What are you doing?  I have a favor to ask you.  Feel completely free to say NO, I mean, if you have things to do... "


"What is the favor?  I am intrigued.  Things?  If things include bottoms to wipe and mouths to feed, um, they can wait!" I answered.


"I have to meet someone that bought something from me off of Craigslist, will you come so I don't get murdered?"


Since I couldn't let my poor friend Jenn venture into the hands of a cereal killer alone, I told her to come on over.  We loaded my mini-van up with our brood of children and headed off.  We figured if the dude was in fact a creep, we could just turn the DVD off, throw M&M's out the windows and unleash the kids on him... he wouldn't stand a chance, believe me.


As I am pulling our loaded down minivan out of the driveway I ask, "So, where are we meeting this person?"


"At the fair grounds, I guess there is a horse show there today.  I am hoping he's a cowboy or something.  If he's not, I am sure a cowboy will rescue us if we need him to." 


(And this is why she is my friend... such sensible logic!!  I totally get her!)


So, off we drive.  As I cruise down the boulevard to the main entrance of the fair grounds, she tells me we are looking for a "black and white ford sedan".  I start gong through my (very limited) mental catalogue of cars, and the only "black and white" cars I can picture are those driven by law enforcement.

Then, I say, "It would be so funny if we were meeting a police man." 


"Okay, pull right here, in front of this main building" Jenn says, not paying much attention to my side remarks.


We parked the car on the curbside of the main building, in the middle of horse trailers, men with chaps and kids decked in every version of camo your heart desires.  "Well, this isn't a parking place, but I feel super safe."   


As Jenn is looking down texting the incoming consumer, she says, "Oh, okay, he's almost here."


"Jenn look!!!!" I point, as a cop car makes a U at the stop sign in front of us.  "IT. IS. A. COP!!!  Oh my gosh!!?..... WHAT ARE YOU SELLING HIM!?!?!" 


In a frantic voice she snaps back, "A video game!"


"I mean, should I drive off?  He is parking behind us, Jenn.  I can't believe you sold something to a cop on Craigslist.  Are you totally sure you are not selling him drugs?  IS THIS A BUST!?!  ARE WE GOING TO JAIL?!"


"NO!! I promise, I didn't know he was a cop.  I am just selling him some games for the wii?!" 


All of a sudden I am eye to eye with the clean shaven mid-thirties policeman.  After the awkward seconds of eye contact, he taps on my window with the bend of his middle finger, as if to say..."so, are you going to roll down the window".

I fumble around like a fool to find the button to roll my window down.  Again, I just awkwardly stare and smile, and I am sure Jenn if doing the same thing behind me, but I am unable to turn my head around because my body is completely frozen with fear, then without thinking, I blurt out, again in complete awkwardness...  (lots and lots of awkwardness is occurring, just so you know)


"ARE WE ILLEGAL?!" 


The policeman laughs and says, "No, are you the one selling the video games?" 


"Um, yea, um, not me, no... I mean, my friend Jenn here..." then I just turn and point.


Finally, Jenn gets out of my car, pops open the back hatch and unloads the goods.  I watch the entire transaction in my rearview mirror, not completely convinced I am free of jail time from this incident.


Jenn walks back to the car and get's in.  I drive off and never look back... trying my best not to speed, but doing my best to fly out of there without an indictment!!


"JENNN... OH. MY. WORD.  I cannot believe that happened!!"


"I am in shock," she said, "The only thing I worry about, is now he will know all the details of my wii fit profile... bummer" 


So, friends, the moral of this story... well, actually "morals"... are:

1: Policeman are real people!!  J/K but seriously they might be buying your items off of Craigslist!! 

2: Mother's will do just about anything to get out of the house, including lucrative unsafe adventures with friends who call and ask them.  



Thanks for reading friends!!

Bananas in Bed

For your entertainment only....


11:00 PM... I climb in my bed donning my husband's hoodie, ski socks, sweat pants, and double fisting huge piles of kleenex. Denver is already in bed asleep, snoring in fact.  I lie my head down, cozy into my memory foam pillow, which was stiff from my cold north facing bedroom.   My eyelids touch for 2.3 seconds and I hear crying from Dutchy's room.

11:20 PM... Husband gets up and tries to get baby back to sleep... all is quiet for moments before he is laid back into his bed and crying commences yet again.

"What's wrong with him?", I say.

"I don't know", Denver says.

"I guess he will go back to sleep eventually", I say.

11:58 PM Barbaric scream comes from boys room... Daxx wakes up due to excessive crying and pillaging from the ravage toddler, and we hear pitter patter of feet coming toward our room for refuge... I throw back the covers and Daxx crawls into bed, and then we all three lay there and listen to the restless Dutchy-doo....

12:20 AM... One hour of awakeness has passed... I am about to loose my mind.  All I want is sleep.  I have chills... my nose is dripping like the kitchen faucet I kept trickling to prevent freezing the night before last.   Two boney feet shove through my back and elbows fly into my face.

1:00 AM... Dutchy is still not asleep, and has reached maximum cry capacity... I muster my feverish body out of bed and march down the hallway.  I reach in to pick Dutch up and I realize there is something gooey and sticky all over his bed, and also throughout his hair.  Immidiatly, I empathize with the poor fella.  He must of thrown up... from crying.  Go ahead and call me the worst mother on the planet. After I get him to sleep, I have decided to walk in the subzero temps to the police department and turn myself in for child neglet... I let him cry until he threw up... pooooor guy.  So, I rock him.  And he stares... for hours... at me... and never...closes... his eyes....



Finally I ask, "Do you want to go back to bed?"

"Yes", he nods.



So to bed he goes, and to bed I go... only to find my bed taken over by the littles and Denver zonked out in the pink bunk bed down the hall.



I turn and hobble around to find Denver and say...

"So Dutch threw up, and I am a horrible mom.  I can't believe I let him cry until he threw up.  I feel so bad."

"No.  He didn't throw up", he says.

"Yes.  His hair was crusted to his head, it was all over his sheets... I had to change them, " I say.

"It was a banana", he says.

"WHAT?! A banana?", I say.

"Yes.  I put him to bed with a banana", he says.

"Why?!  Why would you put a 18 month old to bed with a banana?", I say.  "Are you crazy?"

"The other two wanted a banana, so I had to give him one too", he says.

"Well, I am glad he is alive and I guess that news makes me a good Mother again, thank you!", I say. 



Welcome to my reality.  And, please, never put your 18 month old to bed with a banana, not only is it a choking hazard, it creates an insane mess...overnight the banana-mush solidifies into a cement like substance that can only be removed by soaking baby for 1.5 hours in a hot bath.     

Thanks for reading friends :))