Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Reciving Grace on the Horrible-No-Good-Very-Bad Days of Motherhood

Its a hard job living out your faith.  It's an even harder job to train up your children in a household of faith; especially when it's run by sinners, mistake-makers, yellers, temper-losers, and just-trying-to get-by-ers.

Yesterday was one of those horrible-no-good-very-bad-days that come to pass in Mommyhood.  By 8:29 am (Because I actually looked and the clock when this thought entered my mind.) I had already had enough.  I had enough "Mommy, will you (insert demand)",  "Mommy, she (insert tattle)", "Mommy, get me (insert any inanimate object of your choice {I have heard them all})"... I was already tired of the name MOMMY before 8:30 had ticked by.   It didn't help that my oldest was home from school with pink eye AND I had to start him on eye drops 5 times a day for 5 days, AND my other two children had to participate for precautionary measure... (after the math, that will total 75 eye drops for the next 5 days... knowing I had this task ahead of me I was already ticked off  because I was now aware that I will be fighting the ominous "Battle Eye Drop" for the next 5 days...talk about a Debbie Downer on your Monday Morning!!! BOOOOO for Eye Drops!)  

So, needless to say I started my day off on the wrong foot.  I took that little tangible piece of justified self pity and let it form a cloud over my day that set the forecast for gloom.

Because of my passive aggressive rebellion against the eye drops I was a woman on a mission.  A mission to make everyone else's day as miserable as mine.  Since the mother is considered the "thermostat to her household" let's say I set the temp low... bone chilling low... and my children followed suit.  There was impatient moments, there were tears, there was frustration acted out in aggression, and then there were more tears.

My favorite line from yesterday's chaos...

Zadie: "Daxx pushed me!"

Me: "Daxx did you push your sister?"

Daxx:  "Well, no.  At least not with my hand." (That's okay because pushing with other appendages or objets is acceptable. not.)

(Have you ever had days like this, or am I alone?)

Since steam was already shooting from both ears before noon, both the littles were in bed for their naps at 11:30... which was an hour and a half earlier than normal.  I had all of 2 minutes of peace and quiet until that plan backfired and I had crying coming from one room and the other getting out of her bed every other minute...  (My blood is boiling just typing this!!  I loathe spoiled nap times.) 

So.  What do you do when it's 12:00 and you aren't sure if you can survive until BEDTIME?

I couldn't go back to bed.
I couldn't leave the house.
I couldn't lock myself in the bathroom.

In this weeks reading in our Mom's group at church the author talked about 4 crucial cultivation tools in parenting:

  • Modeling
  • Teaching
  • Training
  • Grace
I read that last night, after my horrible-no-good-very-bad-day and I was totally convicted, yet at the same time totally thankful. I love that the author added GRACE in her list.  Because guess what, that's what I need, as a parent, the most.  Grace. 

After my husband came home from work yesterday I took 20 minutes in my room by myself to regroup.  I needed to come out of that room a different woman.  So.  I made conscious decision to get through the rest of the night and wake up tomorrow and start over.  Freely receiving the grace to do so. 

After I came out, I cooked dinner, we ate at the table.  At the table we reflected on our day.  

Me: "Mommy did not have a good day today did she?"

Daxx: "No, none of us had a good day...but Mom we can start over tomorrow."

And that's what we will do.  We will start over tomorrow, receiving Grace for today, teaching our children to make amends where they need to be made and modeling how to do so.  Hopefully yesterday I taught my kids that we all make mistakes, we all have bad days, but it doesn't give us permission to treat others around us poorly.  Its is okay to apologize and it's okay to receive grace and start over new each day.  Isn't it cool that God gives us "days and nights" as a point of reference to start anew?  Thank.You.Jesus.  

Thanks for Reading!

This post is Linked Up to Doing You Well Wednesday #12 at "Prowess and Pearls"


  1. A very encouraging word, Heather...Thank you! Much needed by this mommy. :)

  2. I just love reading your post Heather! GRACE...His empowerment to help us do it all, along with His mercy to allow us to make a mistake without penalty. When we get that mindset, it allows us to do as you did...take a minute, regroup and start back over. Thanks so much for sharing this Heather, it's much needed for EVERY parent! Btw...your Daxx is very wise! Thanks so much my friend for stopping by and linking up...have a wonderful rest of your week! :D

    1. "His empowerment to help us do it all, along with His mercy to allow us to make a mistake without penalty" --- wow Michell, I love that!! Tucking that one away for safe keeping!! Thanks for reading.

  3. First, isn't it amazing what our kids can teach us. I love that your son picked up that starting over can happen. Beautiful. Second, I really really hope your week gets better :)

    1. Jonna, THANK YOU!! Actually my week has gotten worse, but my attitude is better. haha. Now I HAVE PINK EYE!!! Yuck, yuck, yuck. But oh well... lots of laundry, lysol and eye drops this week.

  4. Motherhood is a beautiful challenge, even as our kids get older. We make mistakes, but we learn about being better moms, along the way. Many blessings to you~

    1. Thanks for the encouragement Cynthia. I am sure we will never get it completely right, no matter what the age of our children.

  5. Had one of those days last week. Not proud of me. But, with an attitude adjustment JUST FOR MOM, things in our household became much brighter. We really are the thermostat. Great post! :)

    1. Yes, Erin... learning this fact has really humbled me. Sometimes I blame them for my attitude, but reality is that I am probably the reason for their attitudes... yikes. I highly recommend Finding Your Purpose as a Mom for your group after you finish up 7. It's been a life.changer. for me!! Very humbling and very eye opening.

  6. Heather, I love this post! Being a momma is a tough job littered with mess-ups. I'm so thankful that our Lord is the Great Redeemer full of grace and mercy... we ALL certainly need it! I'm so sorry about your eyes of pink... I hope the eye-dropping goes well with the little ones! :)
    Blessings and much grace to you ~ Mary

    Thanks for visiting my site!

  7. Love that verse! And the design of the print! ...A much needed reminder when our days feel overwhelming. I'm not a mama yet, but I know I will have tough days when I need to be reminded of this verse. One day at a time! :)



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