Thursday, January 9, 2014

Craigslist, Cops and Moms...

Let me start this post off by saying I don't have much experience with the police.  I have been pulled over, different times, but never receive any tickets.  Well, actually I have... on 23rd in front of OCU... a public warning to all OKCers, never go 2 miles of the limit on 23rd between Penn and Classen, they are vicious. You're welcome.

Back to my story.  Okay.

It's not every day that I get a call from my friend Jenn... wait... yes, she does in fact call me most days... BUT this day hot summery day was different.

"Yeessss..." I said, as I answered my cell.

"What are you doing?  I have a favor to ask you.  Feel completely free to say NO, I mean, if you have things to do... "

"What is the favor?  I am intrigued.  Things?  If things include bottoms to wipe and mouths to feed, um, they can wait!" I answered.

"I have to meet someone that bought something from me off of Craigslist, will you come so I don't get murdered?"

Since I couldn't let my poor friend Jenn venture into the hands of a cereal killer alone, I told her to come on over.  We loaded my mini-van up with our brood of children and headed off.  We figured if the dude was in fact a creep, we could just turn the DVD off, throw M&M's out the windows and unleash the kids on him... he wouldn't stand a chance, believe me.

As I am pulling our loaded down minivan out of the driveway I ask, "So, where are we meeting this person?"

"At the fair grounds, I guess there is a horse show there today.  I am hoping he's a cowboy or something.  If he's not, I am sure a cowboy will rescue us if we need him to." 

(And this is why she is my friend... such sensible logic!!  I totally get her!)

So, off we drive.  As I cruise down the boulevard to the main entrance of the fair grounds, she tells me we are looking for a "black and white ford sedan".  I start gong through my (very limited) mental catalogue of cars, and the only "black and white" cars I can picture are those driven by law enforcement.

Then, I say, "It would be so funny if we were meeting a police man." 

"Okay, pull right here, in front of this main building" Jenn says, not paying much attention to my side remarks.

We parked the car on the curbside of the main building, in the middle of horse trailers, men with chaps and kids decked in every version of camo your heart desires.  "Well, this isn't a parking place, but I feel super safe."   

As Jenn is looking down texting the incoming consumer, she says, "Oh, okay, he's almost here."

"Jenn look!!!!" I point, as a cop car makes a U at the stop sign in front of us.  "IT. IS. A. COP!!!  Oh my gosh!!?..... WHAT ARE YOU SELLING HIM!?!?!" 

In a frantic voice she snaps back, "A video game!"

"I mean, should I drive off?  He is parking behind us, Jenn.  I can't believe you sold something to a cop on Craigslist.  Are you totally sure you are not selling him drugs?  IS THIS A BUST!?!  ARE WE GOING TO JAIL?!"

"NO!! I promise, I didn't know he was a cop.  I am just selling him some games for the wii?!" 

All of a sudden I am eye to eye with the clean shaven mid-thirties policeman.  After the awkward seconds of eye contact, he taps on my window with the bend of his middle finger, as if to say..."so, are you going to roll down the window".

I fumble around like a fool to find the button to roll my window down.  Again, I just awkwardly stare and smile, and I am sure Jenn if doing the same thing behind me, but I am unable to turn my head around because my body is completely frozen with fear, then without thinking, I blurt out, again in complete awkwardness...  (lots and lots of awkwardness is occurring, just so you know)


The policeman laughs and says, "No, are you the one selling the video games?" 

"Um, yea, um, not me, no... I mean, my friend Jenn here..." then I just turn and point.

Finally, Jenn gets out of my car, pops open the back hatch and unloads the goods.  I watch the entire transaction in my rearview mirror, not completely convinced I am free of jail time from this incident.

Jenn walks back to the car and get's in.  I drive off and never look back... trying my best not to speed, but doing my best to fly out of there without an indictment!!

"JENNN... OH. MY. WORD.  I cannot believe that happened!!"

"I am in shock," she said, "The only thing I worry about, is now he will know all the details of my wii fit profile... bummer" 

So, friends, the moral of this story... well, actually "morals"... are:

1: Policeman are real people!!  J/K but seriously they might be buying your items off of Craigslist!! 

2: Mother's will do just about anything to get out of the house, including lucrative unsafe adventures with friends who call and ask them.  

Thanks for reading friends!!

1 comment:

  1. Okay, your last two posts have left me in laughter picturing you in these hilarious situations! Love it. Too funny. ;)


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